K: Relationship with my parents.
It’d good with both my parents and my stepmom
I: Have any tattoos or piercings?
Just my ears, planning tattoos.
E: My best friend.
A few. Shannon, Jordan, and Jade.
R: Favorite song at the moment.
End Transmission - AFI
S. A random fact about me.
HIM is my favorite band.
T. Age I get mistaken for.
For some reason sometimes 15. Mostly 18.
E. My best friend.
N. Favorite place to shop at?
I thought that when I’d opened my heart up to someone that it was that person I was opening up to. Turns out I wasn’t. I somehow opened my heart to someone else and everything about him made me feel brighter. He made me feels beautiful, he made me feel special, he made me feel like someone could really Love me. It’s been a week and I’m still crying. It’s been a week and just trying to not think about him makes everything worse and breaks my heart. I wish that goodbyes weren’t so hard. I wish that the distance wasn’t so far. I never thought I’d meet someone that would ever amount to being such a perfect fit into the space that was left by another. I can’t believe that you mean this much to me and that I have to put a new stitch over that hole.
A friendship is so worth so many things. I wouldn’t trade meeting you for anything in this world. The only thing I would have ever taken back would be living and dating the one person who was so wrong for me just to have more time with you. I understand it isn’t really goodbye, but I still hurt. I will be honest, I Love you. I Love you with all my heart and soul and wish that I had the guts to tell you to your face that every time I see you smile it gives me bats and that every time you hug me I don’t want to let go. I wish I could tell you that no matter what was to happen that I’ll always Love and cherish you and that even though things have hurt you I will always be here to offer my hand and give you a kiss.
Whenever you need me I’ll always be sitting right here on the steps holding a sketchbook and daydreaming about nothing. I’ll always open my arms to you and never leave you behind. To be true and honest, I Love you more than anyone.
It’s taken a long time to wake up and see how far I’ve come. It’s taken so long to realize how beautiful I am and what I have accomplished. There are very few people that I give more Love to than others. A few of them have already left and one is soon to be leaving. Looking back at the photos and realizing that I really wasn’t just some annoying girl. I’m worth so much more than I give myself credit for but I never see it. Until now, I haven’t seen how much I’ve hurt me more than anyone. I haven’t felt so strong or so free as I do now. Right now as I write and think through all of these things, I cry tears not of sorrow or pain or hurt. No, I’m crying tears of strength and relief.
When I look at the art I compose I sometimes wonde why it makes me so happy but at the same time breaks my heart. So many unfinished things that just sit collecting dust and growing older. My soul matches those pieces falling into a base of darkness. Why do I keep putting myself through this? This time it’s back to me I’m done.